all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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