i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Randomize
