all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
