Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
