so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
