i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
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