It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize