wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Acid is not a monday night drug
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
