What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
The feeling are messing with the penis
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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