This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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