I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
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