Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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