he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
