i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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