We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
