It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
false alarm. still invincible.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
