Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
