someone get that fucking seahorse.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
