i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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