? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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