smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
