I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
