he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
