I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
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