Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
