6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
