So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Randomize
