Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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