i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Randomize
