So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
