4 words: hood of his car
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I want to fling myself into the sun
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
