You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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