I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
it glows. i had to have it.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
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