are you still at the devil's house?
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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