David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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