i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
