I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
