East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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