hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
