My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
