Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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