I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
