What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
