You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
