Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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