You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
