Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
