Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
