Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
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