Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
