Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
