would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
