Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
