i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
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Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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