hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
