Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
