I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
