she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
