My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I need to sanitize my soul.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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