I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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