So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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