Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
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