Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
operation harelip BJ is a go
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
